Lenticular Parasites

by ammophila

Editor’s note.  Hi guys out there! Gotta tell you the issue eatin’ and heatin’ up all our reader bros

                 Sorry Maud.  I simply cannot write such stuff.  Maud has been asking me, with support from Berthold of all people, to try writing and editing (a good deal of editing is needed on some contributions unless there’s special reason to leave them fluting their native woodnotes wild) according to a style which she described as ‘joined up to the generation’.  Hard cheese, Maud!  (You see, we have slang too, but it’s simply a different slang from yours).  So, no thanks, and no gibberish.  No, in good-old-fashioned thought-transmitting English a special reminder, plus a couple of other notes:

Note 1; dates of posting, reminder  Given the duties I have acquired since July, postings have to be less frequent.  Apart from any special announcements, such as this one, the aim is to post on the 1st and the 15th of each month.

Note 2 With regret I must report that Maud will be leaving us next month, having been selected as a member of an Irish Women’s Sumo Wrestling Team which is to undertake a three-month world tour, supporting various children’s charities.  (I should add that requests for photographs, of which we have already received more than a dozen, cannot and will not be dealt with through this office.)  Maud has been with us much longer than the original one-month internship, and worth her weight in gold, with her enthusiasm and openminded intelligence.  We all wish her the greatest success on the tour and for what she might take on thereafter.

Note 3  Since we are posting this anyway, I shall add a suggestion which Simon and Louise sketched out together on holiday down in PACA. I give it as received except for the sign-off which I personally found rather embarrassing. For those who haven’t been reading the news, some of the minor panjandra of France have been letting off administrative steam aimed according to some at targets which reflect their political views.

            If we want to test whether French mayors paddling in the murky waters at the seaside are enjoying the refreshing flow of xenophobia around their rolled-up trouser legs, as some suspect, or whether they are simply looking out for new ideas on how to deal with public disorder when they find it, as well as gauging the state of race relations in coastal France, perhaps we could get volunteers to put on a variety of distinctive gear, kilts, kippahs, turbans of various colours, biker leathers, bikini (female), bikini (male), long white robes with pointy hats, (and perhaps we could even get the femen in on this?) to see which gear attracts what reactions from (a) other people on the beach and (b) the police patrols, (after they have been told by accompanying monitors that none of the volunteers are actually members of what it looks they might belong to, so as to keep the issue down to pure prejudice, no messing about with interference from facts); we then ask them, in return for a small fee to spend an hour or two strolling along a coastal beach to see how many are attacked, or attack other people, or are beaten by the police and arrested (not necessarily in that order).  ps We may also need a pet billionaire to hand out compensation for injuries and time spent in prison. pps Could be a lot of money in this if we can get a camera crew to film it.